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Poets Ranked by Beard Weight: The Commemorative Edition

via 50 Watts

In 1913, London bon vivant Upton Uxbridge Underwood published his masterpiece of Edwardian esoterica, The Language of the Beard, offering it by subscription to fashionable men of leisure. This prized bit of ephemera has attained a legendary reputation among bibliophiles and beard lovers around the world. Frequent 50 Watts contributor Gilbert Alter-Gilbert has worked with illustrator Mahendra Singh and Skyhorse Publishing to create the “Commemorative Edition” of this curiosity, retitled Poets Ranked By Beard Weight to reflect its central premise—that “the texture, contours, and growth patterns of a man’s beard indicate personality traits, aptitudes, and strengths and weaknesses of character.”

You gotta click through. There is a wealth of awesome stuff here. Oh, and the book is for sale on Amazon. 

Hey! Buy some BEARD POSTERS!

 

(Source: beardrevue.com)

Herman Melville Has 25 Words for Beard

In order, in two chapters of White Jacket:

  1. beards
  2. the crop
  3. suburbs of the chin
  4. homeward-bounders
  5. fly-brushes
  6. long, trailing moss hanging from the bough of some aged oak
  7. love-curls
  8. Winnebago locks
  9. carroty bunches
  10. rebellious bristles
  11. redundant mops
  12. yellow bamboos
  13. long whiskers
  14. thrice-noble beards
  15. plantations of hair
  16. whiskerandoes
  17. nodding harvests
  18. viny locks
  19. the fleece
  20. fine tassels
  21. goatees
  22. imperials
  23. sacred things
  24. admiral’s pennant
  25. manhood
  26. muzzle-lashings

(via towirr)

(this post was reblogged from towirr)
“
He that hath a beard is more than a youth, and he that hath no beard is less than a man.

Beatrice, Much Ado about Nothing

(via Catch for us the foxes)

 
(this post was reblogged from catch-for-us-the-foxes)
A lady both callous and brash Met a man with a vast black moustache; She cried, ‘Shave it, O do! And I’ll put it with glue On my hat as a sort of panache.’ — Edward Gorey Book: Amphigorey: Fifteen Books by Edward Gorey Click to embiggen

A lady both callous and brash

Met a man with a vast black moustache;

She cried, ‘Shave it, O do!

And I’ll put it with glue

On my hat as a sort of panache.’

— Edward Gorey

Book: Amphigorey: Fifteen Books by Edward Gorey

(this post was reblogged from imawesam)

Recommended Beard Reading

Bearding isn’t difficult. Just grow. Or: don’t shave. Sometimes it takes a few weeks to build up a face pilose enough to be complimented on it; sometimes it takes just a night or two. However one harvests and fashions their beard, time is the essential ingredient.

But if that’s not enough information — and it wasn’t for me — there are a few pieces of literature I recommend to any Beard Revue reader.  

Jack Passion’s humorous guide to all things hirsute, The Facial Hair Handbook: 

Allan Peterkin’s One Thousand Beards is more from the perspective of a curious being, probing the history and sociological aspects of the beard:

And, of course, the longest titled beard book ever: Beards: Their social standing, religious involvements, decorative possibilities, and value offence and defence through the ages. It also has one of the best book covers ever.

So that’s a start. And questions are always welcome, of course (just make sure you leave your email addy). 

Happy bearding. 

mb

Chart from Beards: Their Social Standing, Religious Involvements, Decorative Possibilities, and Value in Offence and Defence through the Ages

Beards: Their Social Standing, Religious Involvements, Decorative Possibilities, and Value in Offence and Defence through the Ages

From Wondermark: 

These are the endpapers from a 1949 edition of the Reginald Reynolds classic Beards: Their Social Standing, Religious Involvements, Decorative Possibilities, and Value in Offence and Defence Through the Ages.

“
A nice, normal, unstyled beard, though, says, ‘in the time I saved not shaving, I wrote you this song about an old schoolhouse.’ You know: nice.
From In Praise of Beards by Anna North at Jezebel.com (via wfb)
(this post was reblogged from wfb)

Moustache Magazin

“Verehrte Leser. Vor euch liegt die erste Ausgabe eures neuen Lieblingsmagazins:

MOUSTACHE

Wir haben die Nase überm Schnauz voll von artyfarty-Künstlermagazinen, die sich im Blabla über den „neusten Scheiss“ verlieren, von Musikheftli, die statt guten Rezensionen einen Haufen Schwachsinn abliefern und von Modestrecken, deren Bestandteile wir uns eh nicht leisten können. Wir haben aber auch die Nase voll vom ständigen Motzen — deshalb nehmen wir die Sache selber in die Hand und machen von nun an alles besser. Man darf also gespannt sein.”

Dem ist nichts hinzuzufügen. moustache-magazin.ch

(via fuckyeahtobitobsen)

(this post was reblogged from fuckyeahtobitobsen)

B is for Beard

B Is for Beard by BT Livermore

B Is for Beard by BT Livermore

B Is for Beard by BT Livermore

B Is for Beard by BT Livermore

BT Livermore’s alphabet book, B Is for Beard, is now available through Banner Year Press!

B is for Beard is an alphabetic exploration of facial hair. Each letter of the alphabet is represented by either a style of facial hair or a historical figure known for his (or her) facial follicles.

13.75” by 7”, 32 color pages, perfect bound, four-color, screenprinted covers. Limited edition of 500.

The Bearded Gentleman: The Style Guide to Shaving Face by Allan Peterkin “A must for every man with a beard or the man planning to grow one!” —Phil Olsen, Beard Team USA (via robmandu)

The Bearded Gentleman: The Style Guide to Shaving Face by Allan Peterkin

“A must for every man with a beard or the man planning to grow one!”

—Phil Olsen, Beard Team USA

(via robmandu)

(this post was reblogged from robmandu)